Dine Modesto

FINE DINING MADNESS: The rules & realities of fine dining

Description

"Savagely Funny!"—The Louisville Journal-Courier

The waiter spit in your food. And no way that last cup of coffee was decaf. Your steak took a dramatic roll on the kitchen floor, but according to the staff, the three-second rule applies. When it comes to dining out, our worst fears are realities and much, much more. But thankfully, there is hilarious rescue. In Fine Dining Madness restaurant journeyman John Galloway takes the diner to school and shows how to avoid such service malice and get the very most from their dining experience.

Fine Dining Madness gives all restaurant patrons the steadfast rules. With priceless humor and shocking revelations, John Galloway recounts his restaurant war stories and people therein. From mega-stars, call girls, mob bosses, and crazed chefs, to all forms of addiction, wine insights, imperative tipping protocol and other vital insider information, you learn how to get the maximum value from your restaurant dollar. He even spills the news on a thousand reasons why not to own a restaurant. All the while, John Galloway plots his own departure from the brutal grasp of restaurant toil. His dream is to fly, but first he must survive his time as a fine dining penguin.

“John Galloway’s FINE DINING MADNESS…is a hilarious introduction to dining well while setting out for restaurant patrons steadfast rules that will insure they get a great meal and what to do if they don’t. Anyone who dines out regularly will enjoy how this book recounts all kinds of stories about how restaurants really function and how to separate the best from the worst. For anyone thinking about owning a restaurant, this book will surely talk you out of that notion. In short, this is a fun book."—Alan Cauruba, BOOKVIEWS

"FINE DINING MADNESS, the wickedly funny new tell-all book of behind-the-scenes, in front of the house restaurant life, describes the three-second rule. If your steak takes a dramatic fall to the kitchen floor and is retrieved in three seconds, it can continue to your table. John Galloway, a food service vet in five states, has written war stories of himself and other abused staffers by themselves or patrons and how they react. Subtitled The Rules & Realities of Fine Dining, this book offers priceless insights on what to do and especially what not to do, from the initial scouting of restaurants to the phone call for reservations and all the rest of the way to a successful, or disastrous dinner. Admittedly written from the insiders’ point of view, it blazes a take-no-prisoners path through the industry, and is hilarious."—Bob Lape, WCBS Newsradio 880

Reviews

Rating: 1 / 5
Date: 2010-06-24
Summary: "Don't Get It!"

I just don't get how this book can be rated so highly by reviewers. One of the author's annoying "rules" for diners is that they be concise when speaking to a waiter ("use an economy of words, as if every syllable spoken is a painful lash from a cat of nine tails..."). If only he would follow his own advice! Suffering through his endless metaphors and painful, wordy attempts at humor was, well, insufferable! It was like reading a short story written by a middle schooler who just got his first thesaurus (how's that for a metaphor!?). And the book is not funny. I can only guess that these other reviewers are friends or family because this book was a total waste of time and money!

---

Rating: 5 / 5
Date: 2010-06-14
Summary: "Best read in a long time!"

The kind of book you wish you could forget you read so you can read it again! I immediately checked to see what other books John Galloway has written and placed an order. If you've ever worked in the hospitality industry or find the behind-the-scenes of this industry interesting - you are in for quite an entertaining ride! Fine writing Mr. Galloway - thank you!

---

Rating: 2 / 5
Date: 2010-04-04
Summary: "who's laughing...?"

I received this book as a birthday present after it had been on my Amazon Wish List for some time. I have been a server at mid- and high-end restaurants, and of course a diner, and my brother is a sous chef at a famous restaurant, so this book had particular appeal for me.

While interesting and insightful in its fine dining "rules" and tips, as well as the little mini-stories that make up the book, the endless anger-fueled, sarchastic and cliche-ridden passages made me weary. This, along with the obvious desire to become the Andrew Dice Clay of restaurant autobiographies left me with a, um, bad taste in my mouth.

I finished the book, but less than halfway through I was already tired of the incessant racist diatribes (to be fair, he picks on his own as well as others) and was wondering, after re-reading the one-line reviews in the beginning of the book, who laughs at this? Who is finding this hilarious? Is it wealthy white male execs at publishing companies? Middle-income moms who have the means to fine-dine several times a year? I surely doubt it's the black, Korean, central-and-south American readers who are often the subject of irreverent passages. In any case, it seems the only people, diners or otherwise, who make Galloway's short list of approved humans are those who give the most money.

Bottom line: probably an interesting life with interesting experiences, but the attempt at insulting just about every single person on earth won't be for everyone. Maybe instead, I'd recommend the better-written restaurant autobiography I may very well read for a second time, Steve Dublanica's "Waiter Rant."

---

Rating: 5 / 5
Date: 2008-08-11
Summary: "MASTERPIECE!!!"

After reading this work of art, to say the least, I am officialy gonna quit reading all together, cause every other book will be a complete waste of time. I'd be better off reading this book over and over again and sharing with my friends by giving them out as Christmas gifts.

---

Rating: 5 / 5
Date: 2008-08-11
Summary: "One of the very best books you've never heard of..."

OMG, This book blew me away. Most books lack depth, but not this one. I was shocked to learn what I didn't know about restaurants.

FINE DINING MADNESS is the total journey though upscale dining: from mega-celebs and U.S. Presidents served to cocaine, hookers, the Mafia, and some of the most evil people imaginable. This book has class, history, and teaches even the most novice diner how to get the red carpet treatment.

If I didn't like this book enough already, the author gives all of his book earnings to helping wounded veterans, every penny. He is also working on a memorial for those killed in Iraq and Afghanistan; a great, great idea.

The book, WAITER RANT, is also worth a look, but FINE DINING MADNESS is the master. Thank you Mr. John Galloway.